Further On

Further On


and when the day was done
he spoke softly
his words filling the space before him
shutting out the noise
the useless things
all those who sought to rob him of time and life.

his words shut out the world and all of its confusion
as one closes one's eyes to pray.




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Lindsey called me today from work. Her boss, Melanie, committed suicide yesterday. They told her when she got to work. She'd been all excited about getting her tickets to see the Dalai Lama speak and wanted to know if Melanie had gotten hers. Instead, she had to answer phone calls at the desk all day and inform those who called to speak to Melanie that they wouldn't be able to.

I cancelled my plans for the evening and spent it with her instead. We talked a lot about her boss, whom I had met, and their relationship. It leaves you with an empty feeling when some one makes a choice like that. There's a hole left behind by a living, breathing person you know that won't be there tomorrow, and everything feels out of rhythm.

I have to wonder at the hopelessness a person feels at such a point because it's something that I cannot imagine. All I've every known is that presence that I cannot explain and it has brought with it hope that does not fade. It's not something that was really explained to me on charts and graphs or something, it just always was. How do you communicate to a human something that wasn't communicated to you by a human? It's all a mystery so confounding to me and yet I feel as if we might have failed Melanie in that way. She never saw the mystery in it all. Forgive us Melanie.